I have been saying for years that people should not make New Year’s Resolutions. Let’s face it, there is so much pressure on us already, why would we start something when we’re told to and not when we are ready? Here are my top ten reasons why I will be rebelling against resolutions!

If you’d like to read a more solid reason that talks about being authentic to yourself, check out Embracing Authenticity!

1. “I’m Already Perfect: Who needs resolutions when you’re already a masterpiece in progress? Why fix something that ain’t broke? My quirks are what make me uniquely me, and I plan on embracing my perfectly imperfect self all year long.
2. “My Couch and I Have a Pact: Making resolutions would require me to break a sacred pact with my couch, and I just can’t betray my comfiest ally. We’ve agreed to binge-watch, nap, and snack together in 2024, and I take my commitments seriously.
3. “Fear of Breaking the Gym’s Heart: The gym might develop abandonment issues if I commit to showing up more often. To spare its feelings, I’ll just let it think I’m on a prolonged vacation. It’s not me; it’s you, elliptical machine.
4. “I’m in a Committed Relationship with My Bed: New Year’s resolutions imply waking up early and being productive. Sorry, but my bed and I are in a serious, committed relationship, and disrupting our morning snuggles just isn’t an option.
5. “Avoiding the Dreaded ‘I Told You So’ from Pizza: If I resolve to eat healthier, my pizza will be lurking in the shadows, ready to say, ‘I told you so’ when I inevitably succumb to its cheesy allure. I’d rather spare myself the smugness of a slice.
6. “The Cat Disapproves: My cat has an opinion on everything, and I’m pretty sure resolutions are on his list of things he disapproves of. I can’t risk disappointing Captain America; it’s a matter of maintaining household harmony.
7. “My Plants Are Already Side-Eyeing Me: Resolutions might involve remembering to water my plants regularly. They’re already giving me judgmental looks, and I’m not ready for that kind of responsibility. Sorry, green buddies.
8. “Too Much Pressure: Why set myself up for potential success when I can revel in the freedom of low expectations? No resolutions mean no pressure, and I’m all about that stress-free life.
9. “Movies Need My Undivided Attention: Committing to less screen time would mean missing out on epic movie marathons. I can’t let down the hundred movie apps that I am paying for every month; they rely on me for sustenance.
10. “Waiting for the Perfect Resolution: I’m still holding out for the perfect resolution to magically reveal itself. Until then, why rush into a commitment? After all, the best things come to those who procrastinate, right?”

Who needs resolutions when you can have a year filled with laughter and a dash of rebellion? Here’s to a resolution-free and hilariously unpredictable 2024!