The Life & Times of a Stay at Home Dad! Ohhhhh to poop alone!

I decided yesterday that I just had to share a bit of my daily life! My son is 2 ½ now and has begun the “I will be part of everything you do” phase of his life! This is cool at first because you feel like the center of their world, their superhero, their mentor and of course you can do no wrong (which is the best)! However I have quickly come to realize that all of these previous feelings are simply mine, not necessarily my sons.  I’m pretty sure that in his mind I was put on this earth for the sole purpose of amusing him, being a jungle gym, etc.! Which is great because who doesn’t like to play with a two year old?  If you don’t, then I recommend taking the stick out of your ass and having some fun! All this said here is what happened yesterday.

I was trying to do my business (if you know what I mean) and forgot to lock the door.  Conveniently my son realized instantly that his life size play toy was not in the room. About that time I hear the sound of tiny feet ripping down the hallway at the speed of light. If you have kids you know the sound oh too well! Just then he bursts into the bathroom takes a look at me and says in the most serious tone a toddler can “Daddy you poooopin?” of course as you can imagine if I don’t answer him he will never go away.  This means I will be finishing my task with a tiny person standing and staring at me from about a ½” away! So I tell him “yes son I am, please go in the other room with your mother”.  His question was not meant to have a simple answer, it was a conversation starter. He responded “daddy, make sure you tell me when you’re done, remember you have to wipe your cooooley, and don’t forget you have to wash your hands with soap”! Which if this was happening to my wife would have been insanely funny, but turns out it’s not as funny when you’re the one riding the throne! At this point he exited the restroom and I hear him run away! I have endured the test and can now accomplish my goal in peace. Obviously my victory celebration was a bit premature, just then he kicks the door open with the ferocity of a Bengal Tiger! He’s back to begin the conversation again and this time he is jacked up to talk about it! I know there is no getting out of this. He has won and I have surrendered to the fact that he has nothing better to do than track the progress of my poo! Now that we have that out there, here is the funny part and what you should pay attention to if you’re planning to become a parent in the future!

This whole situation was not simply his curiosity but I unknowingly created this entire scenario!!! Here’s what I mean; he is freshly potty trained, every time he goes to the bathroom I am in the room with him. He regularly says to me “daddy, I want you go in de udder woom” so he can poop by himself. Of course I come back constantly to make sure he isn’t pooping on the floor or wiping himself without any T.P. etc. I also realized that I tell him constantly that we have to wipe his cooley then wash his hands with soap! So what happened is, he was teaching me how to go poo poo like a big boy! He was simply mimicking me and everything that I have been teaching him! Hey, at least I know he was paying attention!

Do you have a similar story or maybe this has happened to you?  Leave a comment and tell me about it!