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We all know the way it’s supposed to go. Your man gets down on one knee unexpectedly, takes out the ring, and you gushingly say “Yes! Yes! A million times yes!” We’ve all seen it in everything from cheesy books to the silver screen. The man proposes, and the woman is surprised and delighted. But why is that the only way things should be done? So, the guy gets months to decide that he wants to marry you and you get thirty seconds? Seems a little unbalanced, doesn’t it? So is there another way? Of course there is! Why don’t you get involved in your own engagement? You might want to be involved in your own proposal or, perhaps, skip the proposal altogether! That might sound a bit extreme but here are a few reasons why you should be as involved in your own engagement as possible.

 

It lets you know you’re totally ready

 

We’ve all made decisions that we regret in the heat of the moment. Whether you’ve said something you didn’t mean during an argument, or you’ve kept your mouth shut to avoid hurting someone’s feelings, we all have moments we’d do differently given the chance. Getting engaged is so huge and so important that it’s not something you want to end up doing before you’re really ready. By turning engagement into something that you both discuss over time then you can make sure that it’s something you’re both totally ready to commit to. After all, it’s much better to decide together that you want to wait than to say no when someone is already down on one knee.

 

No nasty surprises

 

A lot of people have the fantasy of the “perfect proposal.” Well, here’s a news flash: there is no such thing. Or rather, no proposal is ever going to live up to the fantasy one in your head. By being involved in it then you get to shape it however you want. From looking at different color chart diamonds for the ring, to choose where and when it happens. Sure, that might take away some of the surprise, but it also takes away the risk of a cheesy and embarrassing proposal that leaves you wondering why you would ever even say yes!

 

It creates the kind of communication that you need in a marriage

 

A successful marriage is about more than the big romantic gestures like proposals and weddings. It’s about the long process of a committed and dedicated relationship. If you can’t communicate with each other, then things are going to much more difficult than they need to. Being able to communicate effectively with each other about something as important as the decision to get married helps you develop the ability to talk about pretty much anything. You’ll never reach a point in your marriage where you’re no longer communicating as long as you start your marriage off in the right way. Sure, it might not be the Hollywood moment that many people want, but real life doesn’t really work that way. In reality, it’s more about the little moments rather than the big ones, and communication is the key to all of them.