We are parenting a new generation of children. We are parenting children raised, for the most part, in very different times to those of our own childhood. They are surrounded by technology, instant news, social media and influencers. This can bring with it many challenges for them, and therefore it is our job as parents to help them to navigate the world that they are growing up in. It is hard, it is hard for us to be able to fully relate, which is why today we want to share with you a few suggestions around how to support our Generation Z children.
The first thing that we need to do is acknowledge to ourselves that our children are living in a different world to the one in which we grew up. There are different pressures for them and many of them come from digital and scientific advances.
We know that the advances that have been made are in the most part wonderful news. From the convenience and accessibility of the internet to important breakthroughs in medicine such as egg freezing for cancer patients, we know that we welcome the changes. We know that they are good for us, that they are saving lives, they are helping us to live longer and they give us more options. However, this same world is sparking a rise in anxiety in our children with factors such as the news, social media and societal pressure to ‘succeed’ cited as the main culprits. The question is, what can we do to best support our children?
Look for signs of anxiety
You will want to be on the lookout for signs of anxiety so that you can address it as soon as you spot it.
Anxiety can manifest itself in different ways in different people, but there are a few signs that are worth investigating further. The types of things that you should be looking for are irritability, changes in their usual behavior, sleeping poorly and tiredness, and trying to avoid school or spending time with friends and family.
You might find that your child constantly battles with anxiety, or they might just have phases now and then where they are struggling. It can also manifest itself in different ways and at different times so do continue to look out for it.
Keep the lines of communication open
This is absolutely key. You need your child to know that they can always come and talk to you and that you will never judge them or belittle their concerns.
You know your child best, and some children share everything that they are thinking whilst others tend to bottle things up. In either case, ensure that you are always talking to them, always listening, always reminding them that you are there if they ever want to talk.
Some children might struggle to open up directly, but might be more inclined to write their worries down. Provide them with a ‘worry book’, or for older children a journal, and encourage them to use it. Some children will be comfortable with the idea that you will then look in their book so that you can understand their fears and can then talk them over with them.
Monitor social media use
There is no doubt that social media can put pressure on our children. It also means that they will struggle to get away from everything and disconnect as they could spend all of their time interacting with the outside world. As such, you want to monitor their social media use.
Ensure that you know which channels they are using and agree with them that you will follow them there. Some parents have access to passwords to enable them to check private messaging, so that may be a discussion to have, though you need to balance trusting them and giving them privacy with protecting them. Put rules in place around when and how often they can access social media, and lead by example by switching off yourself when they do.
Go back to basics
Whilst it might make your teen want to scream if you suggest it, it might be time to go back to basics and have a complete break from all tech. Help them to switch off from screens and disconnect from the outside world.
Spend time together, take off to a cabin for a few days, play board games, get out into the fresh air. Notice how your child behaves when they are away from all of the tech and news and take time to chat with them.
Over the longer term, you might find that by helping them find a passion, sport or hobby will immerse them and they will naturally gravitate towards that over screens and social media.
Think about the language that you use
Sometimes we can fall into the trap of putting pressure on our children to behave in a certain way or have certain goals due to the language that we use. We forget how influential our own opinions and views are in the eyes of our children.
For example, they do not need to hear you talking about diets, weight loss and pressures to look a certain way. Talk about being fit and healthy for your own good, not to conform. Similarly, talk about success in terms of happiness, family, friendships and all of those things in life that we know truly matter, rather than attainments and achievements as you might be unintentionally piling pressure onto your child.
Help them to set realistic expectations
Talk to your child about their own goals and expectations. Setting goals can be really positive and confidence-building, as long as they are realistic and worthy.
Help your child to articulate any expectations that they may have, either huge dreams or maybe just around their homework that week, and facilitate them to ensure that the expectations can be met or to adjust their aims if necessary.
We want our children to believe that the world is their oyster and that they can achieve anything that they set their minds to, but we also know that sometimes things do not pan out the way that we want them to. Be there to support their aims and help them to build resilience when they feel that they have fallen short.
