Here is my list for How To Prepare To Be A First Time Dad. When your wife gets pregnant there are so many things that go through your mind. More than just the obvious questions like; will I be a good dad? How will we take care of another person? How will we afford this?! For me I didn’t worry too much about these questions, my mind was fixed on something a little different. Will the baby be ok? Will my wife make it through labor without complications? Can I help her through this without passing out in the delivery room? Sounds crazy but women giving birth really freaks me out! Here’s my take on having a baby.

When my wife told me she was pregnant I was ecstatic. We had been trying for a little while & the day had finally come. I attended the big doctor appointments with her but due to work I couldn’t go to all of them. With our first child she talked me into going to a Lamaze class so I knew what was going to happen & what I was supposed to do. I’m glad I went because this made an immense difference in the end. Without it I would have been scared out of my mind without any idea of how to help her. For many dads there isn’t much work, you simply hang out in the chair next to the bed until the baby is there & that’s it. For me it was a little different; I wanted to be part of it, I wanted to help bring my child into this world. Of course I wanted to be there to help my wife give birth without pain medication just like she wanted. This seems like a fairly easy thing to do but to truly be helpful to her it’s much more work than you would think.

My job didn’t begin at the hospital like I once thought it would, it began at home counting contractions with her. She labored while I did my best reminding her to breathe and counted the contractions so she knew when the pain should be subsiding. Once they were consistent & close enough together we jumped in the car and headed to the hospital. At the hospital is when my job became much more than I expected it to be. For me it was very hard watching my wife fight the pain & I’ve never felt so helpless in my life. The only thing I could do to help her was keep counting & give her a drink of water when she asked. But what I believe was the most important thing that I did not expect was to relay what the doctor was telling her to do. It wasn’t that she couldn’t hear the doctor, but after hours of me counting her contractions coupled with the pain of giving birth, my wife had focused on my voice. So when the doctor was giving instructions to push the baby out she wasn’t hearing them only me.

My first & most important job as a father became simply repeating what the doctor was saying. Within minutes my son was born & I couldn’t believe what I had just witnessed! It was the most incredible thing I have ever seen!

Here’s My list to prepare to be a dad in the 21st century (may be edited at any time, I learn something new every day!):

• Be there! Not just when the kid is born, be there for the doctor visits when possible.
• Take a Lamaze class & pay attention so you know what to do & you don’t completely freak out!
• Help the mother of your child bring your child into this world. Count contractions, massage her back. If need be jump in the shower with her while she labors. Anything to alleviate the pain!
• After your child is born be ready to change diapers, help her to the bathroom or shower. Help her get dressed & anything else she needs. Remember your significant other just gave birth, something that we as men will never be able to fully comprehend. She’s going to need you more for the next few weeks than ever.
• Most importantly, be there for your children. When they are tired don’t be afraid to rock your child or hold them when they are hurting.

Being a man doesn’t mean being made of stone. It’s ok to show & tell your child that you love them. It’s ok to change diapers, feed the baby, do bath time & choose your family over your own desires. Your child needs & deserves a dad that will help them grow NOT watch them grow!