The other day I sat studying with 6 of my girlfriends at the library. Our hard work was often interrupted with casual talking. It was during one of our discussions that I had an epiphany of sorts. Everyone sitting at that table, despite coming from different states and walks of life, was taking some form of depression medication.
Stress and depression is something every parent needs to know about. Here we sit, 7 college students, still struggling to handle the stress of life. Now that we are over the age of 18, we can seek out therapy of our own free will. We can see the doctor without a parent with us to discuss medication. While there are some forms of depression that can only be treated with medication and therapy, I would bet most of my friends, and most other 20-somethings on depression medication, could have avoided depression all together.
High school is a miserable experience. This is something I find agreement on with whoever I talk to. Yet, while I was in high school, all my complaints were met with the response “tough it out” or “that’s just how it is.” While these phrases from my parents and other adults had only the best of intentions, they did me no good.
I have one friend who I can say has never thought of hurting herself. Aside from that, I watched as my friends turned to whatever behavior they could find to numb a life they felt would never change. Some turned to alcohol or drugs to numb the pain. Some turned to sex in an attempt to feel a little bit of happiness, if only for a moment. Many who found these behaviors to be immoral turned to cutting or some other form of self injury to drain away the pain. I saw other behaviors from people outside my group of friends. They developed eating disorders in an attempt to take control of their life. They took their frustration out on others and were called bullies.
I guarantee that every child in high school has done or thought of doing at least one of the above behaviors. What would have happened if we had received a little more support from those adults whom we were told to trust? What if our parents sat down with us and had a conversation about their own woes in high school and how they dealt with them?
While I am out of high school, my younger brother is not. I have made it my duty to be a person he can confide in. This means I listen to him without judgment. I tell him my own stories and explain how I overcame. If only my parents would do the same.
If you are a parent, please take heed of these events. Your children do not have to suffer in high school. Tell them how you survived high school, even if you succumbed to destructive behaviors. That is something your children need to hear. Don’t just say “don’t do what I did,” tell them why. Give them a list of positive actions they can take with stress. Most importantly, make sure your child knows they can talk to you about anything. As a back-up, it may be a good idea to also let them know of another adult they can go to if they don’t feel comfortable coming to you.
Don’t let depression and self destructive behaviors overtake your high school student. In just a few years, they will be adults themselves and face a world with ever increasing levels of stress. They deserve to have their worries treated with compassion. Most importantly, they deserve to live a life without the cloud of depression.
Do you have an open relationship with your children?
Thank you for this terrific eye-opening post.
Thank you for reading. I hope I change the mindset that stress and bulling is just something everyone deals with. In stead, we should discussion how to deal with it.
Thank you for sharing great post
Thank you for reading. Glad to know there are people who are more interested in taking an active role in the lives of their children.
I remember high school. The angst, the heart ache over everything. My situation was somewhat different than most people in that my mother was terminally ill and passed the last day of my junior year, but I felt the normal stuff. More than once I thought life was too tough to go on. I had one friend try to kill himself in my lap. I understand, I try to communicate this to my teenage daughter as she faces many of the same insecurities I did. She doesn’t want to hear it, doesn’t want to talk to me. We have moments, few and too far between for my liking. This is a good post and I’m sure many will benefit from your sage advice.
What I know and I’m sure you do, is that though most of us go through this angst while in high school, every bodies experience is individual
I think many teens would benefit from an adult voice in their lives, but are too afraid to seek out the counsel of parents or teachers. The risk of punishment keeps them silent. Along with the support of parents, teens need an unbiased adult they can talk to, be that a neighbor or a cousin. My brother is very close to a cousin of ours in her 30s. He tells her things he tells no one else. At the same time, she is a person our parents trust.
I agree that everyone’s experience is different. I grew up in a rural town. For whatever reason, rural areas tend to have higher suicide rates. This tells me there may be something extra stressful in a rural community, but I can’t say for certain.
Wow..just, wow. And? I can see it. Thanks for sharing such an enlightening post.
I’m happy to see I made an impression. Thank you for reading.
Glad it made you say wow… it made me say wow too
I agree. There are some great people in Tri-Cities, Washington who are trying to start an activity group for teenagers to keep them from engaging in bad behaviors. They also are trying to get a building to make a “safe haven” for any teen who needs it. I think its really important for groups like this to emerge to create a resource for teens who need someone to talk to because not everyone has a family friend or neighbor that they would confide in.