A large funeral is out of the question for many at the moment. Although small funerals are allowed in many places, inviting all friends and family may not be allowed. This can leave some people feeling like they aren’t able to say goodbye to a loved one or properly celebrate their life with others. Even when you can attend a funeral, it’s still important to maintain social distancing, which means that you aren’t able to give and receive hugs and other physical comfort. However, even if you can’t have any large gatherings right now, there are still things that you can do to remember and celebrate a lost loved one.
Livestream the Funeral/Memorial
Technology can be a great help when you’re unable to attend an event in person. Some people choose to live stream their weddings, and the same might be possible for a funeral or memorial. You can check with the funeral home or ask your funeral provider about streaming technology. This can allow people who can’t attend in person to watch online and feel like they’re participating. It should just require a link to be sent to anyone who wants to watch. It might also be possible to arrange for people to participate virtually by, for example, recording or streaming a reading.
Meet Others Online
If you can’t have a memorial event in person, hosting one online gives you another option. Many of us have been using Zoom, Skype, Facetime, and other tools to stay in touch this year, and they can give you a way to talk to others individually or in groups. If you want to have an event where you can talk about a loved one you have lost and share your thoughts and memories, planning to get together online should be simple. People can come and go as they please, whether they drop in to say hello and give their condolences or join in for longer.
Find Personal Ways to Remember
Mourning someone, remembering them, or celebrating their life doesn’t always have to be a group activity. Some people prefer to keep things more personal and find their own ways to work through their grief. Although you might want to attend a funeral or memorial, not being able to attend doesn’t have to prevent you from processing your loved one’s death. You can find your own ways to remember them, whether it’s making their favorite meal, looking at some photos, reading chat conversations you’ve had together, or anything else that you feel is a good way to think about their life and what they mean to you.
Consider the Ashes
When you choose cremation after the death of a loved one, you need to think about what to do with their ashes. Some people choose to keep them, while others scatter them in a meaningful place. You might also decide to do both, keeping them for a while and then scattering them on an important date. Whether you are able to have a funeral or memorial service, looking at the funeral urns from Memorials.com might help you find something that offers more comfort. You might choose an urn to store the ashes permanently, or you can start thinking about scattering them soon or in the future. Scattering ashes outdoors could allow for a socially-distanced gathering.
Have a Socially-distanced Memorial
Depending on where you are, meeting other people may not be completely off the table. You might be able to meet others, but it’s still important to try and distance yourself from people from other households. You could plan a memorial that people can attend in person, but stay safe by carrying out good practices for social distancing and hygiene. It’s even better if you can have your memorial outdoors, which will make it easier to stay distanced and ensure you’re not breathing each other’s air as much. You might meet up at a park or in someone’s large backyard.
Do Something in Their Memory
Doing something in memory of someone you have lost is a good way to remember them on your own. There are lots of things that you could do, from having their favorite meal or drink to visiting somewhere that they loved to go. If you can think of something to do that you can do at home and possibly on your own, it will be a safer way to remember them. Think of something that they enjoyed doing or maybe something they would have liked to see you do.
Share Photos, Stories, and Other Memories
Sharing your memories with others is easy to do without seeing each other. You could do it through instant messaging using an app like Whatsapp or Facebook Messenger, you can email people, and you can use social media. It’s also something you could do over a video call or phone call. You might have photos to share, or you might share some stories or talk about some fond memories.
Donate to a Charity
Donating to a charity is a good way to honor someone’s memory. It’s something that you can do quietly on your own or that you could share with others. You can suggest a fundraiser that friends and family can contribute to, allowing people to give to a cause that your loved one cared for. It’s easy to do this online, whether you want to make a one-time private donation or set up a fundraiser that others can join in with.
Plan for the Future
Although you might not be able to have a large gathering now, you can still plan something for the future. Just because the burial or cremation has already taken place, it doesn’t mean it’s too late to have a funeral or memorial service that everyone can attend. In fact, you could have plenty of time to plan something beautiful instead of only a couple of weeks, and it could feel a lot less stressful.
Not being able to hold a proper funeral or memorial can be upsetting, but there are other ways to remember a loved one and process your grief.
