Do as I say, Not as I do. How many times have we heard that from our parents and hated it. Then as our children grew, we found ourselves saying the same thing. Someone asked, “Do you cuss online?” This was something I was going back and forth with when I started blogging. In real life, sometimes, I have a mouth like a trucker. I could probably make Pink blush and keep up with Andrew Dice Clay. Of course I don’t swear in front of kids (or try not to) but the word Shit comes out quite often and I have been told by many 5 year olds “That’s a Bad Word“. I’m happy to know their parents are teaching them about bad and good, but get over it kid.
When my kids were little, I tried not to swear but considering they lived with me and were with my husband and I 24/7, I couldn’t shelter them from the over flowing swear words that would come out of our mouths. I did tell them, Do as I say and not as I do. Actually I taught them what that really means. We parents, aren’t perfect. We have habits that are not good or not healthy and we want them to be the best person they can be. I would play it off if I swore by covering my mouth and saying oops, or telling them mommy did something bad.
Another habit that I did NOT want to pass on was my smoking– basically I told them I would make them eat it if I caught them. On a serious side, I did explain how smoking was very controlling over my life. After dinner I would make sure to point out how I wanted to sit and chat but the cigarettes wouldn’t let me. I tried to show them all the non-cool things about it. My kids grew up hating smoke and never touched a cigarette!
There’s always little things we want to make sure our kids don’t do that we do- maybe it’s biting your nails, being too messy, being OCD,
driving too fast, and others. As a parent, we want our children to be perfect, just like our parents did with us. Ever notice as you got older you found out about all these things your parents did and you were Shocked!
It’s a cycle that will never stop– we are imperfect and we will try to do what’s right. I always tried to be honest with my children (age appropriate honesty) and give them FACTS as to why my bad habits shouldn’t be copied! They need the reason “why”, I know “do as I say and not as I do” just doesn’t give a strong enough answer. As far as me swearing…..the joke in my family is…me saying “That’s it, I’m not swearing anymore” then an hour goes by and out of my mouth it flies. Someday I won’t swear, but until then it doesn’t change who I am.
How do you teach your children NOT to follow your bad habits?
Hi Rachel! Oh my gosh – you do look totally different with short darker hair – I like it both ways! 🙂
Okay how to NOT teach my kids my bad habits… I am TOTALLY not sure having just a 9 month old but… I guess I’ll have to try to live a better life in front of him. I think my worst habit is that I worry too much about what other people think and I don’t want my kids trapped by that mentality so I will have to try to stop that and really encourage my children to be their own person regardless of what others say and do (something I was NOT taught as a “good Italian girl” where the “Don’t embarrass me” guilt trip can be all-too-frequently placed on kids!)
Anyway – great post for self-relfection on my part as our little one grows! 🙂