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It’s the biggest gesture in a relationship that’s going so well; when someone moves in with you, it can feel like everything is going just perfectly. Of course, when someone moves in with you, you’ve got a whole lot of hangups you need to go through, from pet peeves, to actual pets themselves. And what if a partner has a pet, and you’ve never had one before? How can you cope with, not just one person moving in, and all of their stuff, but a pet and all of their stuff?
What if you’re not a pet lover?
For many, it’s a deal breaker. If you’re the type who can’t really make your peace with animals, this is going to cause a lot of friction. But hopefully, everything has been laid out at the very start, that they are animal lovers, and so it’s a case of “love me, love my pet”. You might not be a pet hater, but you might not be a pet lover either. You might be somewhat indifferent. This is a very difficult line to toe, especially if they’re moving into your apartment, and not the case of you both moving in somewhere mutually. Before they move in, make sure you spend some quality time with the pet. It could be very difficult if you have spent a little time with the animal, and then, all of a sudden, have to live with them 24/7. Be sure to acclimatize yourself to them, but at the same time, make sure that they acclimatize to you. While you may be preoccupied with the fact that you’re moving in with a human person that you have to share all your stuff with, devote some quality time to the animal too!
Are you allergic to pets?
You might have completely backed out of the situation before because of the fact that you’re allergic to pets. You can be allergic to cats or dogs, or both, but even though you have an allergy, this doesn’t mean you need to feel like you have a cold for the rest of your life. There are some excellent antihistamines on the market, that you can either buy or get on prescription, but if you suffer from an illness like asthma, there are simple things you can do in the home to make it less of an issue. Instead of having carpets, make sure you have solid surfaces, such as hardwood flooring. And make sure that you have an HEPA air filter and clean it every day.
Do I have to fumigate my apartment?
If you didn’t grow up with pets, you might be concerned about the various issues pets can come with. The most common issue with dogs and cats are fleas, but these are easily fixed with many different products on the market. Companies like Advecta provide such a diverse range for cats and dogs that it’s not usually an issue. The main issue is being cautious about the pet bringing in ticks and fleas from the outside, but this is easily remedied, with items such as flea collars, but also, by being regular in checking the pet for fleas and ticks. If anything, having a pet forces you to clean your living area far more thoroughly than you ever did before!
Can’t we all just get along?
In many ways, it can feel like you becoming a step-parent. You’ve got your partner and their pet, who have built up this relationship over the years, and you’re expecting to slot in quite nicely. Unfortunately, this is very rarely the case. Pets are going to be very protective of their owners, but also, moving into a new environment can be scary and intimidating. Don’t expect it to be a quick fix, but you need to put in the leg work with regards to how you and the animal get along. Very simply, to begin with, it’s important to show them you love them. Showing affection and comfort will endear them to you quicker. But depending on the animal, it can take quite a bit of time. With an animal like a dog, they can be pretty affectionate straightaway, but with a cat, you may have to work that little bit harder, for a bit longer. But just keep cracking at it and it will work out eventually.
How will it affect your relationship?
Of course, in having someone move in with you, and all of their worldly possessions, can be quite an acclimatization to begin with. You’ve got all this new information to deal with, not just from your partner’s perspective, but the fact is, you’ve got to learn a whole new structure in how you live your life. Not just in terms of walking the dog, or feeding times, but also it can feel like a task if the animal has settled on your side of the bed and you’ve got to slide in without upsetting the pet. If this happens for a long time, it can get a bit stressful, and you could easily begin to think about if you’re not being seen as a priority where you live. But remember, you don’t have to feel this way. Instead, just talk about it. This will work out better for everybody concerned. Instead of your bottling things up, by discussing the problems right away, this will help get everything out in the open. Besides, even if somebody moves in with us, we can all feel guilty of bottling up our emotions, so this is the perfect excuse to start discussing things properly.
But in many ways, a pet can bring a relationship closer together. If you’ve never had an animal in your life before, you will be pleasantly surprised as to how much love you can feel for something. And you don’t have far to look to see the positive emotional impacts on having a pet. They say it’s very good for children, because it teaches them responsibility, but for adults who have never had a pet, it can teach you how to be that little bit more emotional. If you find yourself somewhat indifferent to having a pet, you may find that having a cat or a dog in your life now will make you feel that little bit better. So, for all of the challenges a partner and their pet brings, it’s one you should rise up to.
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